Boost Your Low Libido

Low Libido is one of the most common complaints I hear in my clinic.

What does low libido mean?

Lack of desireIssues with sensationUnable to reach orgasmNon-sexual but close relationship with your partnerThe presence of sexual thoughts, fantasies, and an innate urge to experience sexual tension and release, alone or with a partner, have been considered the markers of desire (Basson 2002)  

Let’s start with the benefits of regular intimacy and orgasms

Great exercise
Increases your oxytocin
Increases connection to your partner
Improves your immune function
Boosts neurotransmitters such as serotonin and dopamine
Regulates hormone production
Reduces pain perception

So many things can affect your libido and sexual desire, here’s some of them:

Estrogen balance
Progesterone levels
High or low testosterone
Cortisol levels – Stress
Oxytocin levels
Thyroid hormones & your metabolism
MTHFR
Pyrroles
Neurotransmitter synthesis
Low Vitamin D
Low Zinc
Low Magnesium
Anaemia 

Then we have mental and emotional aspects.

These can include – Previous trauma, bad encounter, sexual abuse. Seeing a specialised therapist is recommended for any emotional mental issues of this nature.

Other issues can be medications which lower desire or change sensation. Issues such as candida which causes painful intercourse. And of course, then we have the connection you have with your partner. Experts say that a negative encounter can break the cycle and cause your desire to lessen. Seeing a Sex Therapist can be beneficial in this case.

I love Jacqueline Hellyer based out of Sydney you can learn more about her here. Jacqueline is a qualified sex therapist who runs great workshops and retreats in Sydney and abroad.

Knowing Your Neurotransmitters

Neurotransmitters regulate mood, cravings, addictions, energy, libido, and sleep.

Low serotonin can cause a lessening of sensation and desire. As well as other symptoms. Such as, carbohydrate cravings, binge eating, insomnia, anxiety, negativity, digestive disorders, low self-esteem and you guessed it! Low libido.

Low Serotonin is typical from day 14 of your menstrual cycle. You may experience binge eating, feeling drained and suffering headaches or other pains.

Dopamine is another neurotransmitter which can cause issues if not firing. Signs of low dopamine include: low energy, feeling apathetic to life, feeling blah with no motivation and of course low libido.

Stress & Sex

As soon as you stress out, you’ll go into the fight-flight stress response. Your limbic centres of the brain concentrate on its first job of making sure you’re breathing, alert, awake/asleep. Sexual desire takes a back seat. This is why using stress adaptive techniques like meditation really do work.

You’ll know if it is stress if you have more desire when on holiday. After yoga, during a massage. Any circumstance when your body is fully relaxed.

Hormones and your desire

Testosterone

Low testosterone is a common issue in postmenopausal women. Low levels can cause that lack of want and desire to have sex. Studies have shown it can also contribute to a lessening of sensation.

Oestrogen

You have a ton of nerve endings and estrogen receptors down there. As estrogen drops so do your ability to get stimulated. estrogen imbalance can happen in two ways too high or too low – both can cause low desire.

Progesterone

Progesterone imbalance affects your neurotransmitters and thyroid function. You might feel more tired and less in the mood. You’d rather sleep or clean the house than having sex. To high progesterone can cause anxiety, low serotonin and in turn low sexual desire.

Oxytocin

Oxytocin affects your ability to climax. And also can take away from your beautiful positive feelings about your other half. If you feel disconnected or distanced from your loved ones, then you could have issues with oxytocin levels.

Mental. Emotional. Physical or just plain exhausted

Try and hone down to the reason for your low libido

Is it sensation issue
Do you have pain or dryness
Issues feeling pleasure
Past trauma
Exhaustion
Your relationship

When you understand the root cause of your low libido, you can then take steps to boost your libido and get your desire back on track. Everyone’s reason might be different.

2 Things Your Partner can Do to Help

1. Understand your love language. Once your partner talks to you in a way that pushes your buttons then your response will change. This website is great to learn your love language

2. Know that a woman’s pleasure starts way before the bedroom. Small acts of kindness, interaction, and intimacy throughout the day go along way to firing up your desire

If you have issues with dryness or infection

Use coconut oil as a lubricant and stay away from using any chemicals, creams, pessaries with any fragrance, chemicals or nasties. These can irritate and change the good natural bacteria down there.

If you have any issue with thrush, you may need to work on gut health and estrogen levels. Often inserting a probiotic before bed can help to regulate proper bacteria.

What next for your low desire

Ask yourself what is going on so that you can get to the cause

Ensure your hormones are balanced

Boost your metabolism to support your sexual function

Manage your stress

Ensure you have adequate nutrition and fat in your diet to help your hormones