Orgasms and Chocolate

It’s fact, the less you orgasm the more chocolate you eat!!!

Well maybe not fact, but I do see a common pattern with my clients. They have low libido, less frequent sexual enjoyment which leads to eating more chocolate.

When it comes to your health and wellbeing, it’s not always just about food or exercise – those are important parts of the jigsaw, but it’s important to remember all facets of health including lifestyle, mindset, the time you put aside just for you. As part of this whole picture, a healthy orgasm can be so therapeutic for mind, body and spirit.

Let’s refer to it as the good old ‘Vitamin O’

Benefits of Vitamin O

Orgasm can be a women’s most powerful health habit. An orgasm helps to balance cortisol, raise oxytocin, raise depleted estrogen and progesterone levels, plus increase feel-good endorphins. An orgasm is so powerfully therapeutic and anti-ageing, that is should be in your weekly list of ‘to do’s’

During an orgasm the body’s limbic system gets activated, this creates an abundance of oxytocin. Oxytocin is the main feel good anti-stress hormone, which encourages you to feel calm and connected to the world, yourself, and your partner. Many women today suffer from depleted oxytocin levels, mainly due to the stress and ‘busyness’ of daily life. This is a vicious cycle. Women require oxytocin to deal with the stressors in a calm manner, but stress is a hormone stealer, the more we get stressed the more our calming progesterone and oxytocin get depleted.

The other important O

‘Oxytocin’ is released in the Hypothalamus Pituitary axis (HPO) in the brain, the same area which is responsible for triggering thyroid and sex hormone release. If you are low in estrogen, progesterone, or thyroid hormone then you will benefit from activating the HPO axis weekly, through orgasm.

Some signs you might be low in Oxytocin:

• Constipation

• Difficulty with orgasm

• Wanting to retreat from groups and others around

• Difficulty falling pregnant

• Induction at birth

• Difficulty breastfeeding due to minimal lactation

• Poor social skills

• Disconnect

• Chocolate addiction

Orgasm Vs Climax

Let’s quickly address the difference between orgasm and climax. The orgasm is the lead up to the climax, blood rushes to certain areas, hormones begin to rise – this all occurs prior to the climax, this is the most therapeutic part. Ideally, a longer orgasm is the aim, as this boosts all the feel-good hormones, balances cortisol and activates the limbic system while stimulating your HPO axis. Over time particularly in western culture the focus has moved away from the therapeutic benefits or orgasm for women, and the disconnection between a healthy orgasm and the therapeutic benefits for women has made this subject a little taboo.

Eastern practices and philosophy, however, including Buddhism do still focus on the orgasm and its healing medicinal qualities. The emphasis should remain on the orgasm and its benefits, instead of focusing on the end goal. The idea should be to increase the length and quality of your orgasm. This can be done with a partner using the practice of orgasmic Meditation (OM) or alone using sexual breathing techniques.

So let’s talk about some of the fun things you can do!

OMing,  with a partner.

Here are the basics:

Do it in a quiet safe place, especially if it is for the first time. Your partner can leave all of his or her clothes on. You’ll need to take off your clothing and underwear on your lower body, leaving your top on. Get comfy and get your partner to prop cushions around you so that you feel comfortable and secure.

Lie on your back with your eyes closed, keep one leg straight and bend the other outwards like a butterfly leg in yoga.

Set a timer for 15 minutes, during this time your partner will gently stroke the upper left-hand quadrant of your clitoris. During this time all you do is relax and enjoy. There is no goal to this, climax may or may not happen. The goal is to connect with yourself and your partner for the 15 minutes with no end in mind. The action of stroking in this manner activates the limbic system and raises oxytocin levels much more than a normal orgasm; this practice alone is enough to help balance out all your stressful hormones, creating a calm and centred feeling.

Once the 15 minutes is up, get your partner to press his or her palm down hard on your vagina, this helps to close the practice out and ground you.

Follow this link to see an example of how OM is performed

This TEDX talk will give you some great insights into OMming!!

Solo Orgasm and Sexual Breathing Technique.

Experts believe that you don’t quite get the same benefits with solo orgasm as you do with partner Orgasmic Meditation, the act of completely shutting off cannot happen when alone, as your mind remains in a somewhat an alert state. If you don’t have a partner and feel comfortable then you can do this with a friend, it isn’t a sexual practice, rather a practice to connect 2 people, sex or kissing does not follow the practice of OMing.  If you want to do it by yourself, then you can do a meditation practice.  The best way to start is to practice this when you have some time to be alone. You need to use a deep sexual breathing meditation practice, while you meditate.

1. Lie on your back in a safe place with your eyes closed.

2. Focus your mind on your sexual region; you should feel that sexual “energy” there.Slowly and calmly deep breathe in, bringing the breath up through your spine, it should feel like you are pumping the air up.

3. Bring the air all the way from your lower pelvic region, all the way up your spine to your head. Use visualisation if necessary.

4. Breathe out and let that air move back down your body, first your chest, heart, tummy, lower pelvic region, then finally focusing the final breath low down in near the opening of your vagina, as the breath exits.

5. Lie still and keep repeating this, you will need to practice, the more you do this you will feel the sexual energy build in your lower pelvic chakra area and finally, as you get better you will get and all over body sensation.

For an overall health benefit, try to put time aside weekly to perform one of the practices above.

And if you’re after another way to raise your oxytocin, get hugging!!! This is another wonderful way to raise the feel-good hormone.